Hockeys Pucks ~ Habs players' nicknames according to us

Remember Hamr? Now that was nick that was easy to remember

Hola FHFers and newbies alike! HF29 decided to create this page because his own meth-addled brain cannot keep track of all our awesome Habs nicknames. Thank god for moeman who really helped get this done, even providing explanations.

Blend into the comments section with ease with this handy dandy guide to nicks given by the sharpest comment section on the hockey interwebs. Even in useful alphabetical order! And numbers!

If you have corrections or suggestions, hit us up in the comments.


Montoya, Al (35) - Inigo. Prepare to die! Re-watCH the movie ‘The Princess Bride’.
Price, Carey (31) - TFS or TFSTM if you can do fancy coding like moeman. Stands for The Franchise Saviour. 29 is still not sure if the franCHise is saved.


Beaulieu, Nathan aka Nate (28) - N8, N8 The Great. Follows the FHF nick rules, short, sweet, FHFun.
Emelin, Alexei (74) - Y(E), or just Y in an emergency. Sex(Y)!
Hanley, Joel (71) - ???. 29 doesn't even know who this is. 29 needs to read a newspaper or something.
Markov, Andrei (A) (79) - Vodkov. 29 taught him how to turn potatoes into nectar of the Gods.
Pateryn, Greg (8) - Plaid. It's a pattern. Get it?
Petry, Jeff (26) - Dish. Explains itself. If not, go to a CHemistry lab.
Redmond, Zach (20) - ???
Sergachev, Mikhail. When 29 started this project he was still on the Habs. Sad!
Weber, Shea (A) (6) - BBQ. Made of steel, all season use, gets hot.


Byron, Paul (41) - LB. For Lord Byron. Classy!
Carr, Daniel (43) - Auto. Beep beep!
Danault, Phillip - Dano. Book 'em DanO! Bilingualism rules.
Desharnais, David (51) - DDD or just DD. DaviD Desharnais. Also tits maybe?
Flynn, Brian (32) - Errol. The dude flies.
Galchenyuk, Alex (27) - gCHuk. Goal CHucker.
Gallagher, Brendan (A) (11) - KidA, formerly KidG. SwitCHed to A when he got one sewn on his jersey. 29 still says KidG. Because, meth.
Lehkonen, Artturi (62) - Leko. Because Lego is gone.
Mitchell, Torrey (17) - MitCH. Lack of creativity here. We admit it.
Pacioretty, Max (C) (67) - PatCHes. It fits.
Plekanec, Tomas (A) (14) - PleXXXe, SuperpleXXXe. Back in the day he was TurtlepleXXXe. He’s SuperSeXXXy when he scores. The upper-case Xs are optional.
Radulov, Alexander - CHé. Make it CHé! for extra emphasis. He’s radical and looks a bit like Guevara.
Shaw, Andrew (65) - SSR. Shawshank Redemption.

CoaCHes / Management

Bergevin, Marc (GM) - DGMB. Directeur Général Marc Bergevin
Daigneault, JJ  (Asst. CoaCH) - ??? (Dyn-o-mite!). 29 will be impressed / happy if someone gets that reference.
Molson, Geoff (owner) - Geoff. Because we are on a first name basis with him.
Muller, Kirk (Asst. CoaCH) - CK. Cap(i)tain(e) Kirk, also a play on CK because he’s hot and smells good.
Therrien, Michel (Head CoaCH) - eMpTy, MT2, MT2.0, formerly MT. Second coming of the empty vessel (will CHange if Cup comes home).
Waite, Stéphane - (G coaCH) - ???
CJv2 - Claude Julien

Misc. FHFun stuff

SFU, aka SFUckers - Sick Fuck United, CotU mediots - toronto-based media that has nothing good to say about the Habs and won’t STFU about their leaf
CotU - Centre of the Universe - self-labelled toronto nick
Mediots - biased hockey media types
mclame - ron maclean’s nick I bestowed on him at the CBC site 10+ years ago
splooge - what came/comes (see what I did there?) out of Pierre maguire’s gaping maw
Bob cold - Bob Cole’s à propos nick
timfuckingpeel, bradmotherfuckerwatson, chrisfuckinglee - part of fuckface bettman’s elite referee crew that for some reason ref a lot of Habs games, some from the ORA (Ontario ref Association)
Ice cream - when FHFers hit the 200 comments in a thread Blogger makes us load, more …
The System™ - Jacques Martin’s late 2nd/3rd period CHoke hold
Fuckface bettman - SPEAKS FOR HIMSELF

The Vault - 4HF Gold

Stuff written at the original site that should be coated in gold. ...

Previous player nicknames

PFK - Pernell Fucking Karl
Lego - Lars Eller
Yeast - Thomas Fleischman
Sheik - Mike Condon
Breezeby - Patrice Brisebois
arrogant fuckface - mt2’s other nick
Budy call - Peter Budaj
The urologist (MAB) - Marc-André
Diazzling - Raphael Diaz
mikey ribs - Mike Ribiero
CCRyder - Ryder
Kovy - Alexie Kovalev
CHarger - Brandon Prust
CHip - Chipchura then Dale Weise
Tintin - Tinordi
d’ArCHe - Mathieu d’Arche
CHicken - Pouliot
Chokula - Jacques Martin
Cunney - Randy Cunnyworth
Squid - Mike Cammelieri
TiTs - Kostytsin brothers
Crotch's Corner - don cherry
Mexicant - Scott Gomez
Buttman - see fuckface bettman

DLR ($) - Jacob de La Rose
Barbie/Ken Doll - Mark Barberio
? - Tom Gilbert
? - John Scott
DSP - Devante Smith-Pelly
Toker - Dustin Tokarski
the Little Fuckity-Fuck (HF10™)
Dream - Mike Weaver
Cake - Jiri Sekac
PAP - P.A. Parenteau
Moenman - Travis Moen
MM (?) - Manny Malhotra
GonCH - Sergei Gonchar
RBQ - Rene Bourque
Carnaval (?) - Michael Bournival
Cube - Francis Bouillon
Beer - Daniel Briere
Gio - Brian Gionta
Gorgeous - Josh Gorges
Lebrow - Louis Leblanc
StaCHe - George Parros
Useless piece of deadline pickup shit playoff dud - Thomas Vanek
BlanCHe - Ryan White
Tenderness - Guillaume Latendresse

~ ~ ~
Dwight King = HRH
Martinsen = Thor
Steve Ott = So
Davidson = Hog


  1. Thank fucking god!

    /takes meth hit

  2. I'm lovin' it. (FHFuck you McDs!)

  3. I need this to be bookmarked!

    1. It'll be permanent in the sidebar.

  4. See also...timfuckingpeel, chrisfuckinglee,bradmutherfuckerwatson

  5. chrisfuckinglee

  6. We will have a Misc. section.

    Keep em' coming FHFers!

    1. Gotta be an ORA section somewhere, Morton and timfuckingpeel hail from Ontario.

  7. How about Dean Morton? He needs a ref-nick.
    Was that the game that MT was jumping on the bench with his arm raised showing him the puck because it went into the players bench and NOT over the glass into the crowd when he called a delay of game? or was he just the Wings' drafted coach that only called penalties on the Habs during a Wings' game? Well, it was one or the other anyway.

  8. Also...Buttman

    1. Yep, fuckface is there, soon.

  9. Anonymous10:44 PM

    Giant Mexican Squid

    1. yes the Mexicant deserves a place in history

    2. also squid and the TiTs brothers, Crotch's Corner and its McSplooge no?

  10. I suggest for mitCH, CHin, cause he plays with Dano and is ethnic. Chin Ho Kelly, we need a HO for sure whats that other guy on that line name

  11. @29 JJ Good Times, Dyno mite. The pre Cosby black comedy. No CHemisty off set that I know of.

  12. Hanley I say Banjo cause his name is so Dueling

  13. the Maritimer9:55 AM

    Pouliot = CHicken!

    Jacques Martin = Chokula (he had a lasso and stopwatch for PFK's shifts

    Randy Cunneyworth = Cunney, *ahem*

  14. D'arche? was it archer?

  15. uh... where
    -the urologist
    -r. diaz
    -mikey ribs
    -m. cup winner ryder
    -dutch wayne gretz
    -sorry i got _____ in ure eye
    -tinordi jr
    -thomas jr

    many more to come...

  16. How about PM (Piano Man)for Joel Hanley, after Billy Joel?

  17. Vanek also Vanish, because he vanishes in important games or when his bookie comes near.
    Much like Magic, aka Kent Nillson.

  18. Blake Geffrion = Baby Boom Boom.

  19. Zach Redmond - how about McGill (because of the McGill Redmen hockey team) or just plain ZaCH?

  20. 2017-18 additions / suggestions:

    Mete = CHar or Meat
    Drouin = Druid
    Alzner =
    Hemsky =
    Hudon = Hard-on